Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Pregnancy Notes | Three Months

As I'm now three months+ into this whole pregnancy thing, there are a few thoughts and moments from the past months that I'd like to have recorded here. So here it goes...

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baby b at 8 weeks

Over the last few months I've been working through a huge mixture of emotions. There's happiness, of course, as is expected when you've been hoping to get pregnant. But there's a whole other slew of feelings that have managed to sneak their way in since the moment we started trying - fear and caution among the most significant.

The older I get, the more I realize how precious life is. More people I know confide about their troubles with miscarriage and infertility, and there are a lot of bloggers who have been open about their struggles with these same issues. It's powerful the way people who have been through something so heart-breaking have reached out to others, in hopes of helping those who are also suffering. But the other side of this coin is hearing time and again about pregnancies that don't last, or don't happen at all. And then there's the reality of potential birth defects... and then... and then... it can consume you and take away your happiness if you let it.

Gaining this perspective is important. I think it's significant to realize what a miracle it is to both get pregnant and then to deliver a healthy baby. Something like this shouldn't be taken for granted, and I can confidently say that I'm treating this pregnancy as a gift from God. I know it's not a gift that everyone gets. There are no guarantees in life, but as time goes on, I'm letting go of a lot of the fear and caution, and focusing on being joyful and prayerful about our future. We are so grateful.

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celebratory breakfast after the first ultrasound - it was such a relief to see that baby b was doing just fine!

I didn't do anything grand to tell Taras the baby news. As soon as I had a positive test, I ran out of the bathroom and told him. This is very much like us, in that we don't do many secrets or surprises. But I did have a whole plan for how I'd share the news (and it was good!) - I'll have to save that for the next time.

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We were able to share the news with our families over Christmas and New Years (Russians celebrate their Christmas on New Years) and it was a lot of fun to have this special gift to give them. Everyone's reactions were perfect - so much excitement! We told both families the same way: each person was given a little gold box as their first gift to open (at the same time!) and inside was a pacifier with a note tied to it that read "Baby Bouzakine coming July 2014!" It was a lot of fun and such a great memory.

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Baby b already has a nickname: dinosaur. He/she is so named because of how ridiculous I sound these days when I burp, haha! Just keeping it real, you guys. Anyway, the other day Taras surprised me (and here I just said that we don't really surprise each other!) with the cutest stuffed dinosaur! Since I work from home, little dinosaur stays by my side throughout the day. :) 

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We both think we're having a boy. Is that a weird thing to just put out on the internet? We will be thrilled no matter what gender the baby is, but we just have a feeling! 

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Taras has been a straight-up superstar. He's been making sure I'm fed and taken care of, which has been a hard task considering food hasn't been my best friend these past couple months. He even drove me to work (from Portsmouth to Boston then back to his job in Danvers!) when I could no longer handle the 1.5+ hour bus ride each way (nausea and a weakened bladder do not make for a fun bus adventure). 

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The bump! The bump comes and goes - some mornings I look in the mirror and think whoa, I'm pregnant and other days I look like I just put on a couple extra pounds. I'm still wearing all my usual clothes, but have been using the rubber band trick for my pants (while my pants do still button on most days, I like relieving the pressure on my belly). I'm equal parts terrified and excited to have a bump; I think it'll be both creepy and completely amazing to see how my body changes!

Do any of you have any fun memories from the first few months of pregnancy? 

Thanks for indulging me. xo

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